Monday, February 8, 2010

I miss my Grandma...

My Grandma Haight passed away two weeks ago today...the whole thing was really rough, I've never lost anyone close to me and I didnt know how I would handle far not so good.  The hardest part for me was that towards the end of her life everything was really hard, she and my grandpa had gotten in a terrible accident around 5 years ago (I mean terrible with shattered ankles and ribs, and peices of intestine needing to be removed). She also has a son she adopted, who is truly the worst human being on the planet, he stole money from them had friends come to their house and steal possesions...just terrible things...and on top of all that for the last 25 years she had excruciating pains in her face and head that came and went as they please, in order to try and fix this she had brain surgery, all of her teeth removed, continuos doctors visits and was on a TON of medication...NOTHING helped... then maybe a month or so ago we started to notice that she wasnt having was because she had alzheimers and couldnt remember having them...Her alzheimers wasn't terrible, she could remember all of her kids and her life, just had trouble retaining new information....So I though FINALLY she get's a break, no pains, doesnt remember how terrible her son is...maybe she'll have a few great years. then about a week later she contracted a staff infection and passed away...I can't tell you how sad it makes me...It get even worse when I see my Grandpa. They were married for nearly 60 years, and when I saw him recently and asked how he was he replied "I'm lonely all the time, very very lonely" My grandparents are good people they raised 10 children together have loaned  money to every child grandchild or orgnization that asked, have opened their home to anyone who needed it, and about a million other things that would qualify both of them for sainthood. I certainly hope that there is a heaven and that my Grandma is the queen of it because that's what she deserves.
I'll be getting married soon and the thought of not having her there makes me sadder than you can imagine. I miss her, she was the matriarch of the family and nonone can replaces that...I hate growing up, I hate being resposible, and i dont like that I have to deal with things like death and aging loved ones... it all just makes me very sad.

1 comment:

J and Heather said...

I am so sorry that you lost your grandma. It sucks loosing someone so close. It takes awhile, and some days are worst then others but rememeber to keep living your life to the fullest, that is what she would want you to do. (well that is how it is for me) Oh and it is perfectly fine to cry when and where ever you please.